Reviews - Cooler Master V700 700W
Sample Provided by: Cooler Master (By OklahomaWolf on Mon, Oct-21-2013)

Page 1 - Marketing

Before we get started on today's review of the Cooler Master V700, I want to apologize in advance if I seem a little shell shocked to you. See, last night I watched Afterbirth... uh, I mean After Earth, and I'm not sure I'm done grieving for my sanity yet.

We've looked at the two big boys in the new V series line already. Based on Seasonic KM3 guts, the V850 and V1000 were absolutely fantastic units and worthy products to help Cooler Master to turn their fortunes around. Given that I'd already seen two of the three units, it was only inevitable that I was offered that third unit as well. So, I said yes.

As usual, we start out with some of the usual marketing. Nothing special here, but... hey, look, a box elder bug. Hello, little guy, are you related to Bugula?

"SILENCE! I am Bugulon Thugulon, first of his name, destroyer of humans. There have been reports of a human living here, and many of my kind have gone missing."

Uh... ok. Damn, that Smith/Shymalan vanity project must have fried my brain.

"I am here to exact revenge on the human for destroying my kind. Tell me, have you seen such a creature?"

Wait, so you don't know what a human looks like? I'll be glad to tell you after I get some of these box pictures out of the way. Care to help me out? Won't take long, I promise.

"Very well. Proceed with all haste... the human could be getting away as we speak, and I wish to feast on his entrails!"

You heard the bug, let's move. As I was saying, there's really nothing new about this box we haven't seen before.

"I haven't seen it before."

That's because you were probably born yesterday, Bugulon.

"But I didn't go to the video store and rent 'After Earth' did I? Even I know to avoid that movie."

Point taken, my insect friend.

"On this side of the box, it appears we have a set of specifications about this unit."

Hey, who's the reviewer here, you or me? Anyway... on this side of the box we get a few specifications.

"I believe I just said that. Now, where's this human?"

All in good time. Have a look around, if you want.

With Bugulon off exploring the basement, we're free to unpack this unit and see what's in the box.

"I went through the whole basement and found no humans. Hey, cool, is that a box elder bug house?"

Uh, no. That's a power supply in a bag, a bag of modular cables, a user guide, and a power cord. See this over here? This is a box elder bug house.

"That looks like a vacuum cleaner to me. Wait, are you the human? Is that really a vacuum cleaner?"

Yes, Bugulon! It is!

Folks, Bugulon will not be joining us for the rest of his life. Tried to annoy me to death. Here's the user guide now... rather, the one from the 850W model. It's all the same.


 

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