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Guru's World 09/2000: A collection of six rants Fri, Sep-01-2000
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RANT TWO (Identity Crisis)

In the following, the names and phone numbers have been changed to protect the ignorant.

This guy called that I charged a restocking fee for because he returned a hard drive for credit that he "did not need", but yet he opened it up.

I was willing to reverse the decision since it was only $12 and an open hard drive is no big deal since I could always use it in a build. I was in a really good mood.

Now before you people pass judgment on me and think that I'm always a grump, I'll have you know it doesn't take much to make me in a good mood or persuade me to turn things around in your favor. If I didn't have to deal with so many jackasses, I'd be so happy my freaking head would explode. I think it was obvious that I was in a good mood based on the patience I had with this guy and his current identity crisis.

"What's your invoice number?"

"I don't have it."

"What was your RMA number?"

"I don't have it."

Of course first, I had to FIND the guy. "What's your name?"

"My name is John Doe."

"OK sir, I have no John Doe in the system. Could it have been under another name?"

"Try Joe Smith."

"OK sir, I have no Joe Smith in the system. What is the phone number that would've been typed in when the order was placed?"

"Try 813-555-6273."

I type in 813-555-6273 but there is nothing. I look one below and see a 813-555-6723 and think that that may be it. "Could it be under the name Jill White?"

"No."

"Well sir, that phone number is not in the system and this is as close of a phone number as I have. Isn't the shipping address 12345 Bigoak Dr?"

"Yeah! Yeah, that's it!"

"OK. That's Jill Smith. Let me put the restocking fee back on the credit card."

"OK. The name on the credit card is Jeremiah Black."

Wait a freaking minute! Who's this Jeremiah Black character? I don't see that name anywhere! If that's really the name on the credit card and that name is not in the system, how did they get the credit card approved?!?! "Well sir. I don't show that name as a cardholder, but I do show that a credit card that ended with 4567 was used to purchase the drive initially. May I credit that card back?"

"Oh. Ummm.. Sure. OK."

Weird.




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