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Thread: Joke time children.

  1. #1
    yakko is offline What does it take to get a custom title around here?
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    Default Joke time children.

    I got two of them this evening.

    First up the Turtle.
    **
    How does a turtle with no legs cross the freeway?

    Simple, you take the f out of free and the f out of way.




    Second and final joke tonight is Priceless.
    **

    Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's
    Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't
    taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from
    the party.

    As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack
    had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a
    couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And,
    next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in
    front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees
    that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.


    He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring
    back at him in the bathroom mirror.

    Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in
    red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:


    'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make
    you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian'

    He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast,
    steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.

    His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, 'Son...
    what happened last night?'

    'Well, you came home after 3 A.M. , drunk and out of your mind. You fell
    over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway,
    and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

    Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order
    and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for
    me??'

    His son replies, 'Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when
    she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,

    'Leave me alone, I'm married!!'/ //

    //Broken Coffee Table $239.99 //
    //Hot Breakfast $4.20 //
    //Two Aspirins $.38 //
    //Saying the right thing, at the right time. . //PRICELESS/
    "I like my women like I like my fans. Loud and with oscillation at 3 speeds." yakko
    ----------------
    "It tastes like potassium." Anne
    ----------------
    "By the time I got halfway through the grocery section I was on robototic-get-the-f**k-out mode." Eds

  2. #2
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    Default

    I don't get the first one.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jonnyGURU View Post
    I don't get the first one.
    No spoiler tag, so white text- There is no "F" in way.

  4. #4
    yakko is offline What does it take to get a custom title around here?
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonnyGURU View Post
    I don't get the first one.
    "I like my women like I like my fans. Loud and with oscillation at 3 speeds." yakko
    ----------------
    "It tastes like potassium." Anne
    ----------------
    "By the time I got halfway through the grocery section I was on robototic-get-the-f**k-out mode." Eds

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    Quote Originally Posted by sdbardwick View Post
    No spoiler tag, so white text- There is no "F" in way.
    Okay, but what's the funny part?
    Main: i5 2500K@4.6GHz w/Zalman CNPS10X Performa, Intel DZ68BC, 8GB G.Skill DDR3-1600, PNY GTX 470 + EVGA GTX 470, ASUS Xonar DX, ADATA S510 120GB, Samsung 1TB F3+1TB F1+2TB F4, Kingwin LZG 1kW, Lian-Li PC-9F, Dell U2212HM+S2209W, Win7 Professional.
    Laptop: Dell Vostro 3450, i5 2410M, 8GB DDR3-1333, AMD Radeon HD 6630M 1GB, Intel X25-M 80GB, Seagate Momentus 750GB, Win7 Home Premium.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zero82z View Post
    Okay, but what's the funny part?
    Say it out loud...

    -Adam
    System 1: Core i5-4670K | Z97-Pro Gamer | RX480 GTR | 4*4GB PC3-17000 | 120GB EVO 850 | 2TB Caviar Black |2TB Spinpoint F4 | Raidmax Zeta | Corsair 550VX
    Portable Thingie: HP Pavillion G7-2320DX
    Be the census taker... I'm hungry.

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